Just some of the things heard at the Garlett household over the weekend…

1. I overheard Ella talking to her brother, “Cade, we can’t get married because then our kids would only have a grandma and grandpa and not a gung gung and poh poh.” This stemmed from a conversation I’d had with Ella a couple of weeks ago when she announced she was going to marry Cade. After a momentary panic I cleverly asserted, “but don’t you like having your grandpa and grandma AND your poh poh and gung gung? If you marry Cade your kids will only have mommy and me as their grandparents, but if you marry someone else, your kids will get four grandparents like you.” She didn’t respond, and quite honestly I was thrilled at the time to just let the matter drop. But it’s nice to know the things I say to her actually stick.

2. A few hours after I heard Ella’s conversation with Cade, she asked Yan and me, “But can we still all be a family even if I don’t marry Cade?” I immediately retorted, “Not if we lived in Kentucky, but most other places, yes.” Yan shot me a look and I spent the next ten minutes trying to explain my joke in terms appropriate for a five-year-old. Ultimately my comedy went under-appreciated (as it so often does). But the big take-away for me was just how important the concept of family is to my children. It really is the center of their lives, in every aspect. And I love that they feel so connected and so important to all the wonderful people they’re related to.

3. “Stop it Cade!” for the twenty-seventh time during the weekend. Hmmm… that’s twice less than last weekend. Progress?

4. Upon seeing the awesome new game table on loan from my parents Cade said, “Cool Daddy, can we play games together all the time now?” Some of my happiest memories are of playing games with both my immediate and extended family throughout my life. “Yes we can, son; all the time,” I replied. I’m thrilled he’s as excited about that prospect as I am.

5. And also a couple of times this weekend, “I love you, Daddy.” Man oh man, is there anything better than that?

My wife and I just bought an investment property in Koreatown. The main house is over 100 years old and still has much of the original, beautiful woodwork and built-ins throughout. There is also a duplex on the rear half of the lot. There’s much work to be done but there’s also good income potential with this property. We’re excited.

But how we acquired the property gives me a twinge of sadness because it didn’t have to happen this way. You see, we got the property through a probate sale. The sale was the result of the death of a dear old woman (so I’ve been told by neighbors) who’d lived in the house her entire life. She did not have an estate plan, however, and her family ended up fighting over the house and everything in it.

Eventually the property was put up for sale, but not until after a lengthy and particularly nasty probate during which the woman’s family members had gone through the house stealing anything of value they could find – including doorknobs, I kid you not. What makes me sad is that this amazing old house could have, and should have been an incredible part of the legacy that dear woman left to her family.

Instead, the memories, stories, and experiences she had in the house have been trampled by family members who were not given a framework of respect and reverence from which to cherish them. It is disheartening to see the passing of a family matriarch degenerate into a feeding frenzy of greed and petty theft. But it does happen, and all too often.

Had I known her in life I could have educated her about how to pass her material wealth to her family in a safe an orderly manner, commanding respect while safeguarding her family’s moral fiber. I could have shown her how to take control of her legacy, protect it, and have it mean something – something much more than doorknobs – to those she left behind.

I wish I’d had that chance.

My family and I went to a wedding over the weekend. It was lovely. But to be honest, I had a hard time staying in the moment. My mind kept drifting back to – nearly 12 years ago now – when I made the boldest and best decision of my life. I married Yan.

Don’t get me wrong. Our marriage isn’t perfect. Far from it. When someone tells me they never fight with their spouse I don’t know whether to be inspired or incredulous. That’s just not my experience. Yan and I are both strong-willed, outspoken, and passionate. So sometimes we butt heads. But her strength, and independence, and “tell it like it is” attitude are a big part of what drew me to her in the first place.

I love having such a powerful woman as my partner (even if, occasionally, it feels more like having a tiger by the tail). Yan is both a warrior and a goddess. There’s nobody I’d rather have in my corner when the going gets tough. And there’s nobody I enjoy laughing with or sharing it with more, when the good times are rolling. I asked Yan to marry me because with her I knew I’d have a true companion and collaborator, and a life full of adventure. I have not been disappointed let me tell you.

Being married to Yan is such an integral, valuable part of my existence. It makes me better – and it makes me want to be better – than I am on my own. I strive daily to be the man she sees in me, to be the husband she deserves. I do fall short. Often. But I never quit trying. I never stop believing in me… in us. Yan is my wife; the mother of my children; my favorite person on the planet.

So in the receiving line after the ceremony this weekend, I did not wish the newlyweds an easy marriage, as did some. I don’t know what that would look like or even if it would be any fun. I did wish them a deep marriage, however. One based on faith, hope, and love, yes, but also one with heavy doses of passion, exploration, and improvisation. From my experience at least, they should be so lucky.

If you’ve read my newsletter for any length of time you probably know Cade attends first grade – and Ella will soon be starting Kindergarten – at Field Elementary School in the Pasadena Unified School District. Field had its annual “Gala” over the weekend and it truly was a great time! The event is heavily attended each year by those with kids in the Mandarin Dual Language Immersion Program and is an opportunity for us to get together, socialize, be entertained, and of course raise money for the school.

I’ve got to tell you, I never cease to be impressed by the other Field parents. They are doctors and lawyers, scientists and artists, entrepreneurs and homemakers, and everything else in between. But it’s not just their professional accomplishments that impress me. They are easily among the most generous, caring, and involved parents at any school, public or private. And so many of them are just super cool, too. I really love spending time with them.

On top of that, I can’t imagine better teachers at any school anywhere, and I was thrilled to see so many of them there Saturday night including Cade’s amazing teachers from both this year and last. It really warms my heart as a parent to know my child is getting a terrific education and that his teachers also take a genuine, active interest in his social and emotional development right alongside Yan and me. Nobody can tell me public schools don’t attract outstanding teachers. I am reminded daily that they absolutely do.

I feel fortunate to have so many incredible adults involved, in one way or another, in my children’s lives. It offers Yan and me a great support network which, quite frankly, takes some of the pressure off us! It gives my kids multiple positive influences and role models, of which they can never have enough. And it provides my whole family with a strong community of really incredible people we get to call our own. How great is all of that?

Over the weekend I went to a really unique, cool birthday party. A dear friend of my wife and mine turned – never mind, I know better than to say how old! Anyway, our friend started her party by offering everyone on the guest list a walking tour of Koreatown. You can read about it on her blog, here. I wasn’t really sure what to expect but Yan and I approached it with open minds.

It was neat to experience the sights, sounds, and smells of Koreatown from the point of view of trekking through its streets. One of the great things about Los Angeles is its multitude of incredibly diverse neighborhoods. It is also something we Angelenos too often take for granted. But taking the time to be in and really “feel” the vibe of a particular area opens up its culture, heartbeat, and essence. Our friend was a great tour guide, too, making the history, architecture, and all around mojo of K-town come to life.

The party really got going after the tour at Dan Sung Sa, an old school K-town restaurant where the food (absolutely delicious!) and libations came to the tables as fast as we could empty the bowls, dishes, and platters that had just come before. I enjoyed the company of many friends I hadn’t seen in a long time and made several new friends as well. It was so much fun I felt a bit sad when it all finally came to an end.

As Yan and I were driving back home I contemplated the eclectic and interesting group of people our long-time friend had assembled for the party. I thought about how she, individually, is nothing short of eclectic and interesting, herself. I appreciated the neighborhood we had just explored for embodying those very characteristics, too. In fact, the things I value most in life; my family, friends, and clients are – you guessed it – eclectic and interesting both separately and as a group.

It’s good to be reminded of how the differences and diversity in the people and places around us make life exciting and vibrant. The more we embrace dissimilarities, I believe, the richer we become. I am grateful to everyone and everything which brings something new info my life. Thank you.