My family and I went to a wedding over the weekend. It was lovely. But to be honest, I had a hard time staying in the moment. My mind kept drifting back to – nearly 12 years ago now – when I made the boldest and best decision of my life. I married Yan.
Don’t get me wrong. Our marriage isn’t perfect. Far from it. When someone tells me they never fight with their spouse I don’t know whether to be inspired or incredulous. That’s just not my experience. Yan and I are both strong-willed, outspoken, and passionate. So sometimes we butt heads. But her strength, and independence, and “tell it like it is” attitude are a big part of what drew me to her in the first place.
I love having such a powerful woman as my partner (even if, occasionally, it feels more like having a tiger by the tail). Yan is both a warrior and a goddess. There’s nobody I’d rather have in my corner when the going gets tough. And there’s nobody I enjoy laughing with or sharing it with more, when the good times are rolling. I asked Yan to marry me because with her I knew I’d have a true companion and collaborator, and a life full of adventure. I have not been disappointed let me tell you.
Being married to Yan is such an integral, valuable part of my existence. It makes me better – and it makes me want to be better – than I am on my own. I strive daily to be the man she sees in me, to be the husband she deserves. I do fall short. Often. But I never quit trying. I never stop believing in me… in us. Yan is my wife; the mother of my children; my favorite person on the planet.
So in the receiving line after the ceremony this weekend, I did not wish the newlyweds an easy marriage, as did some. I don’t know what that would look like or even if it would be any fun. I did wish them a deep marriage, however. One based on faith, hope, and love, yes, but also one with heavy doses of passion, exploration, and improvisation. From my experience at least, they should be so lucky.